he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
