I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
