so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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