I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
