how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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