is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Are we still banned from the library?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
