I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
