Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
