So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize