I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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