how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
