found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I want to make a zoo with you.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
