put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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