Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
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I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
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Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Your penis caused this!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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