All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
