im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
