his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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