marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's not a walk of shame if you run
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
