well you can't waste a boner
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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