Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
