I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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