new low.... made out with someone while peeing
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
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