no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
