I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
