i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
