why didn't you poke me back
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
