Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
