I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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