I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Randomize
