Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
