Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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