At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i out mim tonsoeep
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