my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
