i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
