Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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