Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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