Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
