i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
