Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
