Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.

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  (516): Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city. http://tfl.nu/k96c
  Replies (14) Good night (1413) Bad night (727)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.

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  (703): I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup. http://tfl.nu/a2al
  Replies (13) Good night (742) Bad night (3460)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night

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  (617): the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night http://tfl.nu/rgw3
  Replies (12) Good night (4856) Bad night (712)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!

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  (231): I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers! http://tfl.nu/0unq
  Replies (28) Good night (6657) Bad night (1665)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.

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  (904): You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition. http://tfl.nu/ww1r
  Replies (9) Good night (2067) Bad night (742)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.

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  (570): On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me. http://tfl.nu/8dr9
  Replies (6) Good night (2818) Bad night (676)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear

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  (219): my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear http://tfl.nu/60vm
  Replies (11) Good night (2277) Bad night (863)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?

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  (469): Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened? http://tfl.nu/ksd8
  Replies (12) Good night (779) Bad night (1958)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Omg I think I'm in the wrong class

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  (519): I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning (519): Omg I think I'm in the wrong class http://tfl.nu/znqx
  Replies (11) Good night (4031) Bad night (805)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.

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  (917): I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved. http://tfl.nu/p2yu
  Replies (3) Good night (1284) Bad night (650)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls

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  (204): I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls http://tfl.nu/4n4b
  Replies (11) Good night (686) Bad night (1114)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.

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  (440): I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land. http://tfl.nu/ihv8
  Replies (6) Good night (622) Bad night (671)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.

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  (412): Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face. http://tfl.nu/ja8q
  Replies (1) Good night (305) Bad night (534)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.

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  (306): cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life. http://tfl.nu/be5i
  Replies (2) Good night (619) Bad night (435)
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  (631): View more from New York

  And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.

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  (631): And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too. http://tfl.nu/sz5u
  Replies (2) Good night (190) Bad night (585)

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