Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!

(1-313): View more from Michigan

I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????

(313): View more from Michigan

Honestly.

(313): View more from Michigan

Don't say a word.

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(313) So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays! (1-313) I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol????? (313) Honestly. (313) Don't say a word. http://tfl.nu/wjb7

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(805): View more from California

He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.

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(805): He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him. http://tfl.nu/fsan

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(850): View more from Florida

best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!

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(850): best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE! http://tfl.nu/ymdz

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(810): View more from Michigan

I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday

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(810): I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday http://tfl.nu/aiy9

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(443): View more from Maryland

Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.

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(443): Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now. http://tfl.nu/xaw7

Replies (14) Good night (1798) Bad night (4683)
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(305): View more from Florida

Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.

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(305): Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend. http://tfl.nu/xxmf

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(914): View more from New York

The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"

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(914): The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner" http://tfl.nu/76ix

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay

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(508): Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay http://tfl.nu/rfq4

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(509): View more from Washington

They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.

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(509): They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried. http://tfl.nu/h9l8

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(415): View more from California

It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.

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(415): It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards. http://tfl.nu/fyj9

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at

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(203): You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at http://tfl.nu/66cb

Replies (5) Good night (2739) Bad night (861)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.

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(870): I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team. http://tfl.nu/hbuy

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(801): View more from Utah

We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.

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(801): We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form. http://tfl.nu/5xht

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(970): View more from Colorado

Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.

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(970): Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome. http://tfl.nu/0viv

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(785): View more from Kansas

SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE

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(785): SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE http://tfl.nu/zmng

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