I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?