Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  you want me

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i'd rather choke on a dick.

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  (773): you want me (978): i'd rather choke on a dick. http://tfl.nu/nrvz
  Replies (3) Good night (1054) Bad night (1673)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.

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  (518): I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day. (612): May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees. http://tfl.nu/b9l3
  Replies (10) Good night (740) Bad night (1990)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.

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  (619): I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated. http://tfl.nu/km5l
  Replies (27) Good night (8874) Bad night (753)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look

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  (206): He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look http://tfl.nu/dski
  Replies (17) Good night (4846) Bad night (1523)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day

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  (847): You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day http://tfl.nu/8r8f
  Replies (8) Good night (2193) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.

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  (609): Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style. http://tfl.nu/0udf
  Replies (6) Good night (2144) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.

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  (205): Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict. http://tfl.nu/g96l
  Replies (3) Good night (417) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt

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  (717): im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt http://tfl.nu/5q8i
  Replies (5) Good night (496) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.

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  (613): I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going. http://tfl.nu/0q0d
  Replies (1) Good night (647) Bad night (452)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.

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  (973): Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year. http://tfl.nu/l5j5
  Replies (3) Good night (815) Bad night (368)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.

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  (+61): He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it. http://tfl.nu/xk8c
  Replies (2) Good night (894) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"

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  (302): Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite. (302): Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing" http://tfl.nu/v00f
  Replies (3) Good night (1137) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless

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  (910): like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless http://tfl.nu/zehw
  Replies (3) Good night (509) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.

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  (+44): There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though. http://tfl.nu/j5bh
  Replies (2) Good night (265) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  You get 5 min

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.

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  (734): You get 5 min (586): Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative. http://tfl.nu/1qfm
  Replies (4) Good night (1189) Bad night (377)

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