I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
