just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
