Apparently you make a good broom.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
