Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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