have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Mom said you looked used
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
