people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
