dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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