don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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