I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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