i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
