He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
