I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You've changed since you got that strap on
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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