She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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