there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize