i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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